This will probably be the first time that i will ever let myself go. “vent” as most people would call it. ive never found it the least bit appealing by expressing ones self through writing and sharing it to the world in the form of some sort of online diary. yet here i am. so here goes..

I never in my apparently illogical dreams had i ever imagined to meet such a wonderful person. the first time i saw you, you were just another one of those drunk people running around handling your own business as if not a thing in the world could phase you. and so i hugged you and twirled you around taking you on a rollercoaster ride that would rock your life. From that point on we became mutual friends. talking here and there. then one day we watched a movie.  although the movie had nothing to do with it that was when we became closer. things became more clear for the both of us. that we had feelings for eachother. a more than just friends type thing. and one day. i decided to become the person that you would confide in. we cared more and more for one another. looked after eachother and just enjoyed eachother talking till there wasnt anything to talk about anymore. sharing dreams, goals, futures, mistakes, good times, bad times, and when there really wasnt anything to talk about anymore. just lay there and just stare at eachother until someone bursts out laughing. but things began to take a turn for the worse. which led to our eventual demise. shortly after. things became rough. and neglect began to set in. things went wrong often. and we began the parting of ways. for a large amount of time. i began contemplating on whether or not i made the right choices. yet in the back of my mind. i already knew i regretted what i had done. but it was already too late. or at least i thought it was. little as i should know. you still care. yet i was too naive to notice. or take the hint that maybe it was better if we tried to work things out. but in the end, it never happened. a set amount of years later. the craziest thing happens. and there comes a second chance. to make things better. not to pick up where we left off. but to start brand new. and i realize that i would never let you go. and i never want to see you unhappy. and if you are unhappy. then i wanted to always be there to make things better. turn your worse nightmare into a dream come true type shit. cuhz i care about you. more than anything i had ever cared about. seeing you unhappy breaks my heart. because what you deserve is more than just a smile on your face. somebody who will see your flaws and your strengths and still see you for you. but not somebody youre not. a person that will teach you what it means to just have fun. no stress involved. somebody who will be there through thick thin. rain shine. fat or skinny. somebody who wont make you wonder what problems tomorrow will bring you but just enjoy the great moments of the day. but things dont work out. and worse comes to worse. and somethings may not happen for a reason. i lost another chance at being the one you call on. but although im no longer that person. i hope that you found yourself someone who can do all that. who will accept what you have to offer while giving you 120% times infinity. Just because.

Its what you Deserve.

All I’m Asking is.. Why??