you completely control your life, cuhz you dont need to control what happens to you in your life. you only need to control how you respond to what happens to you in your life. so stop blaming the world for what happens in your life. if you cant get a boyfriend cuhz your standards are so damn high but yous a ugly bitch. or cant get your dick sucked by some ugly bitch. move the fuck on. just kick it. 

People killin, People dyin. Children hurtin, and you here them cryin. Can you practice what you preach? And would you turn the other cheek? Father, Father, Father help us. Send some guidance from above. Cuhz people got me questioning. Where is the love?

I havent failed. I just found a million ways that dont work.

All I want is love baby help us make us grow
we connect on levels that nobody else knows
you lift me to my highest and you bring me to my lows
but thats just hard proof that we grew to be so close
im working every day trynna figure how to please you
i even wrote this song hopin maybe itll reach you
but for now i sit here and wait for your call
grabbin on my chest and leanin against the wall

Theres a Hole in My Heart

-AM Kidd

This will probably be the first time that i will ever let myself go. “vent” as most people would call it. ive never found it the least bit appealing by expressing ones self through writing and sharing it to the world in the form of some sort of online diary. yet here i am. so here goes..

I never in my apparently illogical dreams had i ever imagined to meet such a wonderful person. the first time i saw you, you were just another one of those drunk people running around handling your own business as if not a thing in the world could phase you. and so i hugged you and twirled you around taking you on a rollercoaster ride that would rock your life. From that point on we became mutual friends. talking here and there. then one day we watched a movie.  although the movie had nothing to do with it that was when we became closer. things became more clear for the both of us. that we had feelings for eachother. a more than just friends type thing. and one day. i decided to become the person that you would confide in. we cared more and more for one another. looked after eachother and just enjoyed eachother talking till there wasnt anything to talk about anymore. sharing dreams, goals, futures, mistakes, good times, bad times, and when there really wasnt anything to talk about anymore. just lay there and just stare at eachother until someone bursts out laughing. but things began to take a turn for the worse. which led to our eventual demise. shortly after. things became rough. and neglect began to set in. things went wrong often. and we began the parting of ways. for a large amount of time. i began contemplating on whether or not i made the right choices. yet in the back of my mind. i already knew i regretted what i had done. but it was already too late. or at least i thought it was. little as i should know. you still care. yet i was too naive to notice. or take the hint that maybe it was better if we tried to work things out. but in the end, it never happened. a set amount of years later. the craziest thing happens. and there comes a second chance. to make things better. not to pick up where we left off. but to start brand new. and i realize that i would never let you go. and i never want to see you unhappy. and if you are unhappy. then i wanted to always be there to make things better. turn your worse nightmare into a dream come true type shit. cuhz i care about you. more than anything i had ever cared about. seeing you unhappy breaks my heart. because what you deserve is more than just a smile on your face. somebody who will see your flaws and your strengths and still see you for you. but not somebody youre not. a person that will teach you what it means to just have fun. no stress involved. somebody who will be there through thick thin. rain shine. fat or skinny. somebody who wont make you wonder what problems tomorrow will bring you but just enjoy the great moments of the day. but things dont work out. and worse comes to worse. and somethings may not happen for a reason. i lost another chance at being the one you call on. but although im no longer that person. i hope that you found yourself someone who can do all that. who will accept what you have to offer while giving you 120% times infinity. Just because.

Its what you Deserve.

All I’m Asking is.. Why??

Right on my right cheek. I popped it. Felt good.

all i want is Love baby help us make us grow
we connect on levels that nobody else knows
you lift me to my highest and you bring me to my lows
but thats just hard proof that we grew to be so close
im working every day trynna figure how to please you
i even wrote this song hopin maybe itll reach you
but for now i sit here and wait for your call
grabbin on my chest and leanin against the wall